Bible College Knowledge But She's Still Got Book

I know, random title but it was the first thing that popped in my head as I sat down to write this. I'm going to tie it in, I promise, just stick with me.

This is my third week of fasting and praying and God has shown me more about myself than anything else. I realized something as I was praying the other day: I am a very cerebral person. I'm sure all my readers already know this fact, but to be honest I have been a little oblivious. My prayers, up to this point, have been very theologically sound, very focused on God and his character, and very full of Scripture, and yet I still have felt that I am not...connecting. Like I am talking to a professor instead of a friend. 

That's when it hit me, prayer is relational. Why? Because God is a relational God. How do I know that God is relational? Let's start at the beginning, Genesis 3:8 "And they heard the sound of the LORD* God walking in the garden in the cool of the day..." Can you imagine? What would it have sounded like to hear the Creator God walking in the garden? And this all powerful Creator was looking for Adam and Eve. God, Elohim (meaning: God as Creator, Preserver, Transcendent, Mighty and Strong), came looking for those created in his image. He wanted to be with them, talk with them, listen to them, and wanted them to be with him. He wanted his creation to enjoy his presence up close and personal. Then we find out the sad truth, "..and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, "Where are you?'"  This hits me all over again as I type this, the divine "but". That word is key here because God already knew that Adam and Eve had sinned. He knew exactly where they were and why they were hiding, he didn't need Adam to tell him because God is all knowing, seeing the hearts of men (1 Samuel 16:7, Psalm 51:9-10).

BUT GOD, what wonderful words! Acts 10:39-41, Acts 13:29-31, Romans 5:7-9, 1 Corinthians 1:26-28,  1 Corinthians 7:6, 2 Timothy 2:19, "BUT GOD being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our sins has made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved" Ephesians 2:4-5.

Second, lets look at Jesus for proof of God's personalness. My favorite passage in Luke could be used here (Luke 7:11-16), but instead I want to cite John 4:5-26- the passage known as the woman at the well. Jesus, the very Son of God who was yet fully God and fully man, spoke to this woman who was half Jew. Now, understanding the cultural context is key. Women were not valued in this time period, and Samaritans were looked upon as mongrels- dirty half-bloods. Jesus spoke to this woman in love, not condemnation, to open her eyes to truth and forgiveness. Jesus already knew her and how she lived. He did not need her to tell him about herself, but he wanted her to tell him. (He told her, "Go, call your husband and come back." ¹⁷"I have no husband," she replied.

   Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. ¹⁸The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.") 

I feel as though I have lost this sense of a personal God. Not a god that I can make into my own image, but a God who is never changing, knows me down to the very hairs on my head, and yet wants to hear about my daily struggles. I went to a small Bible College where I learned many things, I learned the importance of exegesis, how to study the Scriptures, apologetics, and even how to ask questions. One thing I forgot to do was to connect my head with my heart. I think this is one of the big reasons why I do not understand prayer. In order to "get" prayer, I need to reconnect with the One to whom I am praying. Just as in Hebrews 4, my great high priest knows every depth of what I feel and think, BUT he wants to hear it from me.