The term Christian evokes a certain stereotype which I try to break, but there is a good reason for stereotypes: they are usually painfully accurate. The stereotypical Christian only listens to "Christian" music, probably has a fish on their car, is a conservative republican, is judgmental, has friends just like them, goes to church every Sunday, wants to marry a pastor (if female), or a Proverbs 31 woman (if male), sees everything in black and white and thinks that Obama is the anti-christ.
Does this bother any believers out there? It should. It should bother you that the first thing people think when they hear that you are a Christian is "unforgiving", "up tight" and "republican". Why isn't the Christian label associated with compassion, understanding and forgiveness?
Author Anne Rice recently published a press release stating that she is leaving Christianity. Now, let me be clear, I was surprised to find out she is a believer and not surprised at the reasons why she said she is leaving. She called Christians "quarrelsome" and said she cannot be "anti-gay, anti-feminist, anti-science and anti-Democrat". Which is good considering we are to "Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." (Romans 12:9-18)
Why are we so negative that even people who share our beliefs cannot, because of their own conscience, remain within the group?
I probably will never do anything as drastic as Anne Rice, but her words do make me wonder what is going on with the church these days. I have seen some real hardness of heart from within the church body that genuinely concerns me. The more I learn about social work the more I am convinced that the church has stopped caring about the culture at large, but we have gotten very good at condemning it. Yet what we fail to realize is that we are part of the problem. We have not done the simple things God has called us to do. We think we can do the fixing and make people all better, when really all we try to do is make people just like us.
My greatest fear is that one day churches will hold all the same people, that there will be no variation within the body because the church killed it.
I continue to feel as though I do not fit into the mold that the Christian label demands: I am a woman who wants a career outside the home, I continue to show grace to my gay friends, I refuse to participate in Obama jokes and I don't claim affiliation with any political party.
I think this song by Needtobreathe sums up my thoughts well:
Shortfalls of little sins
Close calls and no one wins
Stand tall but running thin
I’m wearing thin
Oh, why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering
If we stop sinking
Could we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned
We’ve finally come to terms,
We are the outsiders.
Oh, we are the outsiders, oh
I’m not leaving without a fight.
I got my holster around my side.
Just ‘cause I’m wrong it don’t make you right.
No you ain’t right.
Oh, why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering if we stop sinking,
Would we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned,
We’ve finally come to terms.
We are the outsiders,
Oh we are the outsiders,
On the outside,
You’re free to roam
On the outside
We found it home
On the outside
There’s more to see
On the outside
We choose to be
On the outside
Close calls and no one wins
Stand tall but running thin
I’m wearing thin
Oh, why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering
If we stop sinking
Could we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned
We’ve finally come to terms,
We are the outsiders.
Oh, we are the outsiders, oh
I’m not leaving without a fight.
I got my holster around my side.
Just ‘cause I’m wrong it don’t make you right.
No you ain’t right.
Oh, why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering if we stop sinking,
Would we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned,
We’ve finally come to terms.
We are the outsiders,
Oh we are the outsiders,
On the outside,
You’re free to roam
On the outside
We found it home
On the outside
There’s more to see
On the outside
We choose to be
On the outside
To judge God by how "Christians" act, is like going to a kindergarten orchestra concert and come away saying that Beethoven was a terrible composer. You should reevaluate whose mold you're trying to fit into.
ReplyDeleteHow is the world supposed to get to know God if all they see of him is us?
ReplyDeleteVery cool. I am a religious columnist and writer and came here via Anne Rice who said people should read it. Well said.
ReplyDeletePeople do not see that Christian is ALSO normal... too bad...
Keep up the good thinking!
I couldn't agree with you more. I find it especially frustrating because my parents and siblings are non-believers and I am constantly battling the assumptions they have based on these stereotypes. I often feel like an outsider, even in my own small church...but I feel called to be there to represent the outliers
ReplyDeleteI had to leave Christianity all together. Doesn't mean I don't believe in a Higher Power, just that I can't deal with all the bigotry and hypocrisy that the Church entails. There are so few people who actually follow what Christianity is supposed to be about. Don't hate, don't judge, if we are all created by "God", "God" must be ALL things.
ReplyDelete@ Nikole... I don't want to speak for the author, but you seem to have completely misread her article. Nowhere does she disclaim or malign or 'judge' God in any way shape or form. The Christians who claim to serve God, often without ever reading the Bible themselves or having any concept of what God or Jesus has taught is who she has a problem with.
ReplyDeleteAnd why is it that people seem to keep coming to the conclusion that anyone who has a problem with other Christians behaviors is trying to divide the church or drive a wedge or trying to fit into the wrong mold? You have to be completely blind and deaf to not see that MANY Christians have a faith or at least actions that have little or nothing to do with the Bible or Jesus. Why do you feel as if we are attacking your faith when we question the actions and beliefs of those people? Most of the people like Nikole I'm sure have an issue with how those hypocritical Christians act, too, so why are you upset that someone is looking at it?
The truth is NEVER a bad thing - especially for the people who are supposed to be committed to truth and the Ultimate Truth in Jesus.
I just wanted to say thank-you for the very moving read. It is nice to know there are others somewhere within the world who does not merely close their eyes and walk into the waves of followers, blindly believing what they are told. Faith is a persons own connection with Christ and should not be controlled by the ideals that the Church has, even if those sometimes match the individual.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to thank Anne Rice on her Facebook page by the way. Her posting of this link is the only reason I was able to view this.
Drove by this blog via Anne Rice FB post...good points. Can't find a thing I disagree with.
ReplyDeleteI'm also a visitor from Anne Rice FB post. I agree with you that it's sad that just because you don't agree with someone's opinion, people have to exclude them. That's a fail on Christianity's part.
ReplyDeleteMahatma Gandhi: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
ReplyDeleteI quite agree. Both with what you've written here, and what Anne has said about her reasons for leaving the "Christian" church.
I myself left long ago, and while I have studied theology extensively, I am now more practicing Buddhist who agrees with Christ.
It never fails to amaze me how "Christians" will, and do get violent about other peoples lives, they refuse to check themselves. How they will wield scripture as a weapon of war against same sex marriage, but refuse to consider Matthew 7:1-8 which is a conversation between Jesus and others on the subject of Judgement. Jesus himself said in that section of scripture ONLY the father can judge someone. He asserted that he himself could not, and would not judge others because he was a man, not God the father. If you look at what Jesus had to say, and how he lived his life, HE would eschew the Church as it exists today too. He'd be too busy spreading God's light and love to the poor, needy, the homeless, those living in sin. Not to judge them, but to show that there is a way out. He would love same sex couples who loved each other because they are living love and not hurting anyone. He would not judge. I'ts just so not what he did when last he was here...
Thanks for a very interesting read - I followed Anne Rice's twitter feed here.
ReplyDeleteI'm scared and saddened by the stereotypical christian you describe, doesn't match my picture at all on this side of the atlantic.
My experience is that christians are often conflicted, but most have a kind of inner peace, innate kindness, willingness to listen and bring comfort, selfless volunteers etc. etc. I'm pleased to call them my friends.
No political party "owns" Jesus, no one said leave your brain at the door when you find faith (we should be able to discuss the big bang and scientific issues without having creationism presented to us as the only acceptable view for a Christian to take - by both other christians and atheists!)
I guess my experience of church has been different to yours - I'm "allowed" to receive communion from a woman, and have had some flexibility to think about homosexuality, contraception, abortion and the issues that seem to be totemic for some right-wing evangelicals and roman catholics. We need to challenge each other and discuss and debate to build each other in faith.
Reading what you said, I can't help thinking... to prescribe rules and views which alone are the acceptable face of goodness but are not linked a holistic understanding of the bible - isn't that what Jesus was so radical in speaking out against?
Finally, I've spent some time on my blog, and with others explaining that either Jesus died and rose from the dead for us, in which case all this matters, or he didn't and it doesn't.
Somewhere we seem to forget that the first label applied to a Christian is sinner, not judge.
How is anyone to want Jesus's amazing gift if those that claim to have accepted it are not something we'd want to be like?
"[George] Barna isn't the only worried evangelical. Christian activist Ronald J. Sider writes in his book, THE SCANDAL OF THE EVANGELICAL CONSCIENCE: 'By their daily activity, most "Christians" regularly commit treason. With their mouths they claim that Jesus is their Lord, but with their actions they demonstrate their allegiance to money, sex, and personal self-fulfillment.'"
ReplyDeleteWilliam Lobdell - LA Times - August 08, 2010 "The Anne Rice defection: It's the tip of the religious iceberg"
This is the result of worshipping a false god (religion), but it's being perceived by many as the result of worshipping a non-existent god. As long as we continue to operate as if religion = God, then we are linking God to the pugnacious intolerance of the religion of Christianity. Christians aren't the enemy...their religion is.
Former minister, Jim Stacey, writes in JESUS WAS NOT A CHRISTIAN, "The Divine is not found in a book, a building, or a religion. That connection is like a flowing river.
'If you try to capture running water in a bucket, it is clear that you do not understand it and that you will always be disappointed, for in the bucket the water does not run. To 'have' running water you must let go of it and let it run. The same is true of life and of God.'"
AMEN, my Sister. So many of us who love Christ but don't believe all we are told about how to behave. Check out my blog. I am soooooo an "outlier". After doing a stint as a "lock-step Christian" (my label for the Christian Mob), I am back to living a life that respects my fellow man and attempts to love others as Christ loved others.
ReplyDeletePeace & Love
Wonderful! It is amazing how some people can put exactly how I feel into words, something that is very hard for me. Thank you for letting me see my feelings in writing.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.theendofreligion.org/
ReplyDeletethere's a book. Get it. read it :)
Your analogy is completely flawed. A kindergarten concert does not claim to produce master musicians. However, Christianity, at least the New Testament, makes specific claims about how Christians can be expected to act and what divine powers they will possess. Paul talks specifically about gifts of the Spirit and Jesus tells us you will know a Christian by 'the fruits of the Spirit', in other words, how they act.
ReplyDeleteThe Bible itself tells us that we should be able to judge the success of the Spirit, that is God, by the actions of his followers....and Christianity fails over and over again. Christians are no better people than anyone else...
Actually, the kindergarten concert analogy is better than many... The new testament, if you read it, actually says that there was one role model, Jesus Christ, that Christians should try to emulate, but also that every human being is flawed and falls short of the glory of God. Being a believer/Christian does not mean that a person is perfect.. no mortal can ever achieve that. However, if a person meditates on the word of God and engages in other practices that Jesus gave in example (e.g. prayer, renewing of the mind, etc) then a person can learn, and get better at following the example that Jesus set. Every person is on a life-long journey and learns along the way, and the New testament also acknowledges this very frequently in letters back and forth between communities of believers, in the admonition to encourage each other in faith.
ReplyDeleteSo you are absolutely right when you say that Christians are no better than anyone else. It's not about that, though. It's about putting your focus on the author of this faith, and not so much the failures by imperfect people who are trying to follow the path.
I,too, came here as a result of Anne Rice's FB page. I think it is because as "outliers" we are so divided and feel so alone that it's wonderful to find others who "get us." We know that if Christ were on earth today the "Christians" would find a way to do away with him. Probably claim he's a Muslim Terrorist and He'd never been seen again in this lifetime.
ReplyDeleteHe uses us IN SPITE of ourselves, not because of us.
ReplyDeleteYou seem like a very civilized intelligent person but I tell you this conflict is nothing new it goes back almost 40 years in my family with with the same antagonist and protagonists ....
ReplyDeleteI wish you simply because you are a decent civilized person and no other reason...I dont think this is a fight you can win.....good luck Good Speed
I meant to say I wish you well tired you know
ReplyDeleteThank you for your humanism.
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm really surprised at the number of responses and the thought everyone put in to them. I'm encouraged to see that some of you feel just as challenged as I do about this problem within the church.
ReplyDeleteI hope that this discussion will challenge some of you to stay in the church and try to change it. That is partly why I am in social work, I want to see the church have a heart again for the local community. After all, that is what we are here for, right?
Like so many others I came to your blog via Anne Rice's FB link. I am so glad that I did. Thank you! sometimes it gets lonley out here, questioning the behaviors of the "Christian Right", which I too find tremendously Un-Christ like. I suspect that he would be very Sad with what he would find today, if he came back. Love, Compassion and Tolerance seem to be in short supply.
ReplyDeleteWhen did Religion become such a big lucrative business? When did "we" discover that Christ wanted each and every one of us to be Rich and Well Endowed with worldly possessions as a reward for our faith? I must have missed that in my Bible. I can't seem to find it any where.
We see a lot of huge churches these days, with Carismatic Pastors who live in mansions and drive expensive cars...while their congregations pledge more and more money to make sure that the pastor's life style doesn't have to suffer in the current economy. Wouldn't we all be better served if those huge living allowances went to feed the poor, take care of the sick, ease the plight of the unemployed...help those in their churches in need?
Are we unable to worship in a simple building or outside in the sunshine? Does God look more favorably on those in Designer Suits and BMWs praying in Huge ornate buildings? Does a $300 hat mean that one has more respect for God than a $2 hat? Is there something crucial that I have missed?
Wonderful stuff, great thoughtful comments! I'm about to purchase a rather obscure copy of the New Testament, "The Unvarnished New Testament", in an effort to expand my horizons a bit. I've enjoyed B. Crumps "running water" analogy. It's rather taoist in thought. Somewhere along the way, we've westernized our beloved Jesus and forgotten that he chose to come to the East, and many of his teachings deal with concepts that the Western world has difficulty comprehending. Fascinating stuff, and good chewy thoughts. Thank you all!
ReplyDeleteI scrolled past all the comments, so if I am repeating something someone said, forgive me.
ReplyDeleteI found the news about Anne Rice by accident, then I found your article the same way - accident.
I like what you've written.
I can picture you in almost a bubble that moves and flexes as you stretch and reach. What you're fighting against is religion. People have told me "You're religious" when I'm not. I know what I would be without Jesus in my life - but I refuse to fall into the trap of religion. The set of rules that 'dictate' how we're supposed to act. (Or mostly NOT act)
All that to say - you're not alone.
And The Outsiders is one of my favorite songs. :D For much the same reason.
ReplyDeleteHey Comfy, I saw that you're a homeschool mom so BE ENCOURAGED! I was homeschooled from 1st grade all the way through and I'm almost done with my grad degree. Homeschooling was perfect for me and it is the reason I can write as well as I do. Keep the faith and keep teaching your kids, they will benefit from it in the long run!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment!
Hey Courtney, had to post because I've seen a lot of the same type frustrations from many of my friends, and it echoes my heart.
ReplyDeleteI can't help but think we (as the stereotyped Christians you mention) have become the unforgiving servant. Matthew 18: 23-35: “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.
So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Whereas our failure to forgive may not stem from a personal assault, we go much further and fail to have a forgiving spirit... or rather, the spirit of one who has been forgiven. And we have been forgiven an infinite debt. Christ tells the results of this unforgiving spirit: bondage to our own debt. In spiritual terms, that means death.
So yes! There is death living in the Church today, and it's awful. And it breaks my heart. I was listening to a sermon by Dr. Ferguson, and he pointed out that we tend to interpret Christ as a better version of ourselves. It makes sense then, as you said, that "we think we can do the fixing and make people all better, when really all we try to do is make people just like us." It's counterproductive at best, and at worst... has driven countless people away from the Church. I'm sure many of your readers (Anne Rice included), would argue that leaving the Church isn't a bad thing.
We stand at a cross roads. Cling to the Cross where we are and minister out of a forgiven spirit to those around us (believers and non-believers alike)... or cling to the Cross and leave. It reminds me of the Puritans/Separatists of the English church. Some chose to stay within the labels and exorcise the death and decay from within. Some could no longer, in good conscience, remain associated with what they believed to be heresy and got on a ship to America.
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ReplyDeleteThis speaks volumes, hun!!
ReplyDelete